Girls Just Cannot Have Fun

1 Aug

SINGAPORE : Gosh, it must really suck to be a girl. You people just can’t do anything, can you?

Last weekend, Transformers star Shia LaBeouf got into an early morning car crash, after reportedly doing whiskey shots at a bar and, as Us magazine quoted a source, “dancing around and acting really crazy”.

At about 3am, his pickup truck collided with another vehicle, flipping the actor’s truck. He was arrested because, according to a statement from the police, it was immediately apparent to officers at the scene that LaBeouf was intoxicated. He was then released for misdemeanour DUI (driving under the influence).

The 22-year-old is now recovering from hand surgery and is expected to miss a whole month of work on the “Transformers” sequel. And the only shocking thing about this? The fact that no one batted an eye.

When Paris Hilton was arrested on her DUI charge, there was plenty of public outrage. When Lindsay Lohan was arrested (twice) on DUI charges, bloggers called for her to be shipped off to rehab. She even almost missed out on shooting her latest film “Labor Pains” because insurance companies refused to cover the party-prone starlet. And she didn’t even hit anyone.

Even relative (this is Hollywood we’re talking about) good-girl Mischa Barton was shamed into admitting to Nylon magazine that her DUI arrest was “a low point”, and that she was “disappointed because it associated me with a group of girls that I would rather not be associated with.”

Yup, a group of girls.

LaBeouf, in the meantime, can be seen on the cover of the upcoming September issue of Details openly talking about how he’s a big fan of booze: “I don’t know how to have one drink,” he reportedly told the magazine. “I don’t know how to do it like a gentleman.” He then added that he and his dad would smoke and drink together.

It seems the general sentiment is one of, “Oh, well. Boys will be boys.” It’s a blatant double-standard that makes a boy like me happy to own a pair.

Colin Farrell hit Hollywood as anotorious, boozing womaniser, rarely seen on a red carpet without a cigarette and a plastic cup of beer in hand. “Oh, he’s just Irish,” people would say, swooning just a tad. “You know these Europeans.”

Right. Eva Green is European and she can hardly get away with wearing too much eye-liner.

Even old Hollywood legends aren’t exempted from the sexist curb on female fun. Peter O’Toole, a hell-raiser in his day with fellow boozers Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Oliver Reed, has “amusing anecdotes of debauchery”.

“Booze is the most outrageous of drugs, which is why I chose it,” he famously said.

Elizabeth Taylor, however, is just “plagued by problems with alcohol”.

The double-standard doesn’t just apply to Hollywood. Christopher Lee served some time in jail for his DUI hit-and-run, and the incident has blown over with considerably little drama. Can you imagine if it had been Fann Wong instead? This is not a case of popularity being a factor. Benedict Goh and Terence Cao – now that’s running the gamut from C-list to A-list – were also caught drink-driving, and while there was a certain amount of scandal involved, it was nothing compared to the apocalypse the four tabloid horsemen would bring if it had been Felicia Chin or Zoe Tay.

Neither is that double-standard restricted to just misadventures in inebriation. Good golly, no – it applies to just about everything.

Let’s talk celebrity sex tapes. Pamela Anderson made Tommy Lee a legend, Paris Hilton made Rick Salomon an instant celebrity and Kim Kardashian gave Ray J a boost from “Brandy’s little brother” to “hip-hop star”. The girls, however, were called a variety of very unkind names.

George Clooney matured into a “silver fox” regularly voted one of the sexiest men around. The “Sex and the City” girls are the new Golden Girls.

David Bowie’s a genius. Bjork is crazy. Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones are legends. Madonna’s a grandma. RuPaul’s an entertainer. Cher is a drag queen.

What’s that, ladies? It’s not fair? You bet it isn’t. Gosh, it sucks to be you. –

Channel News Asia

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